Words – Original Song by Mia Savant


This new song has been simultaneously the easiest and yet most difficult to create. The meaning of the song is so deeply personal to me that It was a struggle to get it just right.

Most of the abuse that I have encountered in my life was not obvious abuse. A good portion of it was subtle and quiet. So subtle at times that it was masked as helpfulness or love. It didn’t make me hate my abusers, but rather, they made me hate myself. Their soft, seemingly insignificant words lingered in my head and created a self-deprecating dialog. Cruel words that I would never tell another person in a million years became my personal mantra. I believed any insult given to me as valid. Feeling “less than” was not just a moment, but a state of being. Finding my flaws in any given situation was my superpower, and the only thing I could feel confident about.

When I went on my journey to break free of abuse, it took me a long time to realize that it was so much more than physically separating myself from abusers, because I was now a victim of my own mind. They didn’t need to be around anymore because their damaging words floated in my head with each and every new moment I encountered. I was just as tormented as I was before because I had become the words that I hated so much. I loathed the self-loathing, but it was now fully embedded in my programing that there was no me without it. So, the very nature of pursuing freedom was a painful deconstruction, because these pillars of myself, even if I could destroy them, had to be replaced. This posed a new problem of finding what to replace it with. It was an internal war, and at times, an external one with the people who either didn’t understand or continued to abuse me.

Over time, as I grew in emotional strength, I became something different. I recreated myself, rather than being the person that was imposed upon me. The effects of abuse that had my own mind attacking itself no longer imprisoned me. It’s not that the words went away completely, but rather, when they do come up, I now know how to fight them. Learning those tools and skills have been essential to finding real peace in my heart.

This song is about this battle that’s been inside me for so long. It was the war against myself long after the war with others was over. It has taken a long time and a lot of hard work to even be able to have the courage to write it and share it.

Thank you for listening, and I want to encourage you if you struggle with self-deprecation as result of abuse, to challenge it and fight it. Don’t accept it as life, but rather make your own journey of finding your own strength.

-Mia Savant


Lyrics:

How do I let go

Of these words

I swear they’ve burned

Into my skull

I’ve etched them so deeply

In the walls of my heart

Maybe I don’t want to part

With them at all

I am no one

I am nothing

I am inadequate

I bring nothing but

Embarrassment

To me….

How do I strip

Away

These words

Of hate

I can’t shake this feeling

That I don’t belong

And that I’m always wrong

No matter what

How I long to be free

Wish that I

Could accept me unconditionally

But I just can’t

It’s so much more than I’m not enough

It’s that every act is wasted breath

Oh, this badge of honor, posed humility

Is a twisted mask of a bully

Starring me…..

How do I strip

Away

These words

Of hate

I will

Break

My own bones

My own bones

and

I will

Create

My own form

My own form

cuz

I will strip away

These words

These words

Of hate

AOC – Original Music by Acoustic Librarian

Still Shining

The Acoustic Librarian has written a new song about a politician he admires! Within a world where political debates can get pretty heated online, he shows us a kind way to be supportive while having his voice heard. Go take a look!


Lyrics:

She that Fox News loves to hate
And Republicans underestimate
‘Til they’re shut down in a Twitter debate!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,
Freshman Congresswoman,
Face of the Democratic Party,
So says the chosen one.

Part of a squad that’s taken some blame,
Asked to go back from where they came,
Even though she was born in New York
Like another famous name…

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,
She’s an American, too!
Though she may have darker skin
And a different opinion than you.

Strong are her political gifts.
A presidential run is still a “what if”…
She’s only two months older
Than Taylor Swift!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,
Shake off the words of your foes!
Some can see that AOC
Spells “trouble” for the status quo.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,
Freshman Congresswoman,
Face of the Democratic Party,
So says the chosen one.


Artist:

Acoustic Librarian is a songwriter, open mic performer and technology librarian. He lives in Southern California with his wife and their two cats.

Follow This Artist:

Instagram: @acousticlibrarian
Twitter: @AcousticLBR

The Warthog from Hell – Song by Acoustic Librarian

A Dash of Whimsy Series –

Come view this musical entertainment by the Acoustic Librarian! Lyrics full of whimsy if I’ve ever seen it!


Lyrics:

THE WARTHOG FROM HELL

I fell asleep reading and had a strange dream,
From studying Milton and too much ice cream.
I found that I stood in a fiery place,
When out of the darkness came a horrible face!

A warthog from hell!  I see it and flee,
But looking behind, see it running for me!
I feel it gaining; I hear the loud snorts!
To be chased by a warthog, life’s just too short!

I raced through the brimstone pursued by the hog,
And nearly tripped over a three-headed dog!
The swine at my heels was threatening death!
But could that be worse than the smell of its breath?

I spotted a palace by sulphurous lakes,
And stepped through the door to a room full of snakes!
Giant ones, hissing; I’d no place to hide!
And toward me they slithered till the hog ran inside.

A snake shouted “bacon!”  The hog gave a wheeze;
One serpent wrapped round him and started to squeeze!
The swine was dragged, squealing, to flames just outside.
I judged from the sizzle, the hog was being fried!

My watch began beeping; I soon was awake,
Back in my room and away from large snakes!
Sleep that inspires: Less strange now it seemed;
I doubt though if Milton could ever have dreamed…

Of a warthog from hell!  I see it and flee,
But looking behind, see it running for me!
I feel it gaining; I hear the loud snorts!
To be chased by a warthog, life’s just too short!


Artist:

 Acoustic Librarian is a songwriter, open mic performer and technology librarian.

Follow This Artist:

Follow him on Twitter at @AcousticLBR

Love Starts With You – Closing

I want to end this love season with a song I wrote a while back about self empowerment and self love.

It’s taken me a long time to learn how to truly take care of myself emotionally and I’m still learning each day. Before, I struggled with being codependent, desperately trying to make others happy because I thought that they mattered more than myself. In return I found so many times that my efforts were either unappreciated, or I became a doormat to other people’s wishes and expectations.

This used to make me feel out of control, leaving me feeling like a victim to my suffering. Most people didn’t even know about it because I was too afraid to hurt someone’s feelings by telling them I wasn’t okay.

It has helped me so much to recognize that it’s okay to take care of myself and my emotional needs. In doing so I am able to not be a victim, but properly disperse where I have control and where I don’t, while being at peace with both. Ironically, taking care of myself first made me realize I was much better at giving to others after doing so. It allowed me to authentically say yes to others rather than giving that fake smile of acceptance.

I wrote this song to reflect my change in mindset and give myself that self care.

This series had so many powerful perspectives to ponder and I hope you are feeling as charged up as I am! Thank you to all of the artists who participated!

Also, stay tuned for next month’s series! If you’d like to be a part of it, go check out the Call For Submissions: https://pondersavant.com/2020/01/31/call-for-submissions-online-open-mic-march-2020/

-Mia Savant

Call For Submissions – Love Starts With You

Call For Submissions for my February series, Love Starts With You.

Any form of creativity is welcome! (Poetry, music, paintings, photography, etc.)

Work will be displayed on my blog: http://www.pondersavant.com.

Deadline: February 1st, 2020

This February, my blog is going to be focused on loving one’s self, self care, taking care of oneself first or oxygen-mask-on-first type concepts.

Submission Guidelines:

1. Send your art of any kind (poems, music, drawings, paintings, videos, photography, or any medium of creativity!). Topic should be about loving one’s self, self care, self worth, etc.

2. Include a picture of yourself or any photo that you feel represents yourself as an artist.

3. Include any links to your work or social media sites that you would like to be shared.

4. Email your submission to Mia Savant at pondersavant@gmail.com with the subject line: Love Starts With You

5. Follow the blog site www.pondersavant.com. If you have facebook or Instagram follow there as well @pondersavant.

6. Finally, don’t forget to share www.pondersavant.com on your social media!

Deadline: February 1st, 2020

This Year – A Christmas Song

How is your Christmas going? Are you feeling in the spirit? Are you feeling very non-Christmasy and can’t wait to open presents and be done?

Whatever you are feeling, I hope you at the very least are surrounded by people who get you, and you feel supported by.

Most years I am very delayed in getting into the Christmas spirit. It usually turns out to be more of a mad dash the week or two before when the Christmas lightbulb finally goes off in my head.

This year I have been much less of a grinch about it and embraced the season as soon as Thanksgiving came to a close. I must say, it’s been much more peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not any further ahead in my preparations, it’s still a mad dash. But mentally I feel like I’ve had more of a seasonal experience.

I think holidays are difficult to enjoy for a lot of us because of the expectations it brings. The expectation to be happy, to feel like the difficulties in life should somehow not exist right now. Expectations that things should be a certain way or have a certain feel.

I decided I wanted to write a Christmas song, but one with the reality of the full scope of life. Still hopeful, still striving for all the goodness that we want to get out of celebrating the joy of life, but one that speaks to those of us who can’t focus solely on the cheeriness.

So, to those who need this right now, I hope you enjoy my new song, ‘This Year’:

An Artistic Challenge

I gave myself an artistic challenge this month. It started with a picture. I thought how fun it would be to write an inspirational quote to. Why stop there? Why not write a small piano instrumental inspired by the quote? Nothing crazy, nothing perfection, just raw art. And thus, I decided to see where this could take me, if for no other reason than it would be fun to get creative juices flowing.

Do you have any artistic challenges that you have given yourself? Feel free to tell me about them in the comments below!

Take a look at my first completed picture/quote/music combination:

Acoustic Librarian – LTNC Series

PROGRESS
We crawl to work in metal shells

Fueled by burning dinosaurs,

Our planet slowly cooking in the smoke.
Waves of heat soar higher;

The Golden State’s on fire;

Though some say global warming is a hoax.
Melting polar icecaps

,Disappearing glaciers

Lead to the rising of the sea.
Hurricanes grow stronger;

Rain and floods last longer;

A bad time to live in Miami!
Is this progress?

Is this progress?
Scientists have warned us

Of rising CO2;

Still we keep cutting down the trees.
Water grown acidic

And tangles of plastic

Poison the creatures in our seas.
Farmers lose harvests

To harsh, changing weather,

Reaping drought and famine for the poor.
They migrate for survival;

Labeled on arrival,

Invaders teeming on our shore.
Is this progress?

In making America great again?

Will you speak truth to those in power

Who bury their heads in the sand?
Is this progress?

Is this progress?
Smirking politicians

Mock the Green New Deal,

But whose is the costly fantasy?
To keep on doing nothing

Will end up costing trillions

In plummeting worldwide GDP.
Will we work together,

Make the painful changes

Needed for our world to survive?
Or follow blind guides

To the edge of the cliff

On a path to collective suicide?
Is this progress?

In making America great again?

Will you speak truth to those in power

Who bury their heads in the sand?
We need progress

In making our planet well again.

Let’s cause an uproar

‘Til we can’t be ignored;

Don’t bury your head in the sand.
Is this progress?

Is this progress?

Is this progress?


Artist:

Acoustic Librarian

Existential Ponders – Kaci Skiles Laws

Artist:

Kaci Skiles Laws is a writer and artist living in Dallas—Fort Worth. Her work has been featured in The Letters Page, at Bewildering Stories, 50 Haikus, Former People, and is upcoming in The American Journal of Poetry and a few others. She won an award for her poem, This is How it Ends, by NCTC’s English Department and is currently working on a children’s book called The Boogerman. Some of her and her husband’s visual artwork can be viewed on their YouTube channel listed under Kaci and Bryant.