This year has been a rollercoaster and it’s time to take a break to rest and recover! Ponder Savant will be back come the new year, but for these last couple weeks of December there will be a holiday pause to revel in the joy of the season.
In whichever way you celebrate during these times I wish you all to keep safe, find excitement in the little things, and may your soul feel replenished!
Wrapping up the series, I wanted to share with you an original song I wrote about the greatest lost I’ve ever experienced. About a decade ago I was pregnant and in a dangerous divorce. In order to protect my child I placed her for adoption in the arms of a loving family. Over the years I have had thousands of emotions coursing through me regarding this, each one powerful, most of them painful, but also filled with love and gratefulness. When I feel these waves, I take it in, embrace its force, and then let it go out with the tide. This song is a moment in that wave, and is dedicated to my daughter who I love with all that I am.
I’m usually known that I have a thing or three to say
I’ll weave you a picture and then again in crochet
I don’t shy from expression
And I run from oppression
So, I don’t know why I’m acting this way
But you’re the only thing
Where silence is my reverency
Still I wish I wasn’t weak
And I could find something to speak
And I keep thinking
I’m gonna find the words
The ones that you deserve
Perfect as you
But every time I try to find them
I seem to be denied them
Perfectly out of view
I am lost
In a fog
Of missing you
So, silence will have to do
The goal was always for me to stand in front of you
I’d take every hit and carry it all so you wouldn’t have to
I have been feeling rather nostalgic recently, in both a contented state as well as the heartbreak kind. 2020 has taken a toll on all of us, forcing us to have some introspection, as well as focusing on what is important to us. As we inch near the end of the year I thought it might be healing to honor these feelings, to validate the painful moments in our life as it is a part of our journey.
Each artist featured will be an expression of their loss, taking the time to be vulnerable in sharing with us so we can mourn with them, and not feel alone ourselves. Whether it be loss of loved ones, relationships, jobs, time, plans, all of this can be shared to carry these burdens together.
This series is to invite these pains to a dinner, recognize them, pay them homage, hold them close, and release them so that we can step forward with lighter hearts. Raise your glasses with me to give a toast of bittersweet remembrance to what we lost.
Looking for art on the topic of loss of all kinds. It can be loss of a loved one, a relationship, job, home, etc. or any other type of loss. The idea is to pay tribute to that which has been lost, honoring and validating the grief process of it.
‘Tis the season to be haunting! That’s right Ponderbots, Halloween season is upon us and we get the delightful experience of artistic expression at it’s spookiest!
The world may be heavy, and our spirits a little tired, and that’s why it’s all the more important to fill our lives with things to enjoy wherever we can find them or create them. This series will feature artists cute, fun, and classy horror pieces to give you smile and intrigue.
Pull out the pumpkin spice, grab your sweaters, and stay tuned for the festivities throughout this month!
August had us filling our psyches with little things to keep us going and boy oh boy did the artists deliver on some amazing work! Thank you to each artist for bringing us such great things to appreciate.
For this month, I wanted to take some time to celebrate women! Everywhere we look there are women in the background who may not even realize how inspirational they are. Women tend to take on many roles and wear multiple hats. They are both strong and fierce while also being tender and open. This combination is a powerful force. Both real and fictional, young and old, women have a special way of bringing hope and inspiration.
To the encouragers, protectors, and challengers, this series is full of artists’ expressions in dedication to the heroines who influence us to greatness. Stay tuned for upcoming art!
This page is dedicated to giving honorable mentions to music and musicians who leave me captivated. I will periodically be adding new music to the list, introducing and inviting you to participate in the enjoyment!
The first to debut on this page is Coleman Row! Take a look below.
This song really takes you by surprise. With a haunting beginning, the acoustic guitar slowly sets the groundwork, accompanied by an almost a grunge style melody, which builds into a fiddle duet. Impressive harmonies join to meet a chorus that you didn’t know you needed in your life. This unique mashup of folk and metal styles may seem strange, but it’s one that creates absolute magic.
Musicians: Coleman Row
Informed in equal parts by heartfelt folk ballads and anthemic hard rock, Scottish folk duo Coleman Row merges trad fiddle, rocky guitar riffs and soaring vocals. The result is an entrancing sound made intimate as it is all performed by just two musicians. Since their official formation in September of 2019, Coleman Row have been regularly appearing at Open Mics and busking across Glasgow. Most recently, the duo have been writing and releasing new music recorded during lockdown.
July Online Open Mic has come to an end, but their inspiration keeps pushing us! Each artist brought us so much to think about and digest to start off our summer, and I’m so thankful for every one of them!
As we move into August, I still feel the world breathing heavy. The tenacious things we are, we keep adjusting and adapting to our current situation. This is amazing, but it comes at a cost of energy depletion. I’m here to remind you, you’re doing good! You’re still here and fighting? That’s powerful! Be proud of yourself!
When I go through hard times, I’ve found that what gets me through the most are the little things. The tiniest of details to my day that would otherwise go unnoticed. If only seconds of joy, it gives my mind a small respite in the chaos to smile, to laugh (even if the laughter is from bitter humor), to have hope, or to simply enjoy something.
This month, I’ve called out to the artists to bring me little things to help each one of us get through our days and they did not disappoint! Get ready to see a month of little things to bring you the respite you need to keep fighting your battles!
We’ve made it through half the year, and I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling all over the place. Emotions are on constant rollercoaster mode as the world continues to battle multiple large issues all at once.
With all the battles, it’s hard to keep track of the days let alone where we are at emotionally. I’d like to take this time to encourage you to check in with your feelings. Take time to sit with them and express them in your own unique and healthy way. We are fighting to protect others, we are fighting for survival, and in order to keep that up we must feed our own emotional needs as well.
That’s why this month, I wanted specifically an Open Mic. I wanted each artist to be able to share what is on their hearts and minds as we continue to face these challenges and chip forward one step at a time.
Take some time to enjoy each artist. I hope they uplift you, and you them with your likes and comments. Your simple actions can be wondrous gifts to those around you when done with love on your heart.
Let’s lift each other up, fight when we can fight, rest when we need rest, and we will get to the other side of this together.
This new song has been simultaneously the easiest and yet most difficult to create. The meaning of the song is so deeply personal to me that It was a struggle to get it just right.
Most of the abuse that I have encountered in my life was not obvious abuse. A good portion of it was subtle and quiet. So subtle at times that it was masked as helpfulness or love. It didn’t make me hate my abusers, but rather, they made me hate myself. Their soft, seemingly insignificant words lingered in my head and created a self-deprecating dialog. Cruel words that I would never tell another person in a million years became my personal mantra. I believed any insult given to me as valid. Feeling “less than” was not just a moment, but a state of being. Finding my flaws in any given situation was my superpower, and the only thing I could feel confident about.
When I went on my journey to break free of abuse, it took me a long time to realize that it was so much more than physically separating myself from abusers, because I was now a victim of my own mind. They didn’t need to be around anymore because their damaging words floated in my head with each and every new moment I encountered. I was just as tormented as I was before because I had become the words that I hated so much. I loathed the self-loathing, but it was now fully embedded in my programing that there was no me without it. So, the very nature of pursuing freedom was a painful deconstruction, because these pillars of myself, even if I could destroy them, had to be replaced. This posed a new problem of finding what to replace it with. It was an internal war, and at times, an external one with the people who either didn’t understand or continued to abuse me.
Over time, as I grew in emotional strength, I became something different. I recreated myself, rather than being the person that was imposed upon me. The effects of abuse that had my own mind attacking itself no longer imprisoned me. It’s not that the words went away completely, but rather, when they do come up, I now know how to fight them. Learning those tools and skills have been essential to finding real peace in my heart.
This song is about this battle that’s been inside me for so long. It was the war against myself long after the war with others was over. It has taken a long time and a lot of hard work to even be able to have the courage to write it and share it.
Thank you for listening, and I want to encourage you if you struggle with self-deprecation as result of abuse, to challenge it and fight it. Don’t accept it as life, but rather make your own journey of finding your own strength.