You may have been wondering about my slogan. What do I mean
by “Life is Pain – And so is passion?” Well, my Ponderbots, allow me to
explain.
Life is
more than just pain, obviously, but I wanted to focus on this particular aspect
that consumes such a large portion. It’s easy to want to find a way to push
away pain. It’s there all around us, and yet, it always feels so unnatural, so
wrong, like it is something that should not exist. And yet it does exist and
quite frequently it is a dominating factor in our wellbeing.
Everyone
finds their own individual versions on how to cope with pain. Some might
pretend its not there at all. They fake the smiles, bottle up the emotions, and
push it down far deep and away. Others might try to avoid it at all cost,
sheltering their lives in a box that holds a limited amount of life. Still
others might attempt to mask it with a distraction of some sorts.
Whatever the method of choice, I
can’t help but notice, tragically, that the pain is still there. Denial doesn’t
change a truth. Avoidance only leads to a new version of pain. Masking can only
hide a problem for a temporary amount of time, it can never be a permanent solution.
This may seem rather gloomy, and
you are right, it is, but my thought process is, why not embrace it? Not that
we should deny the joy that it is there. Joy should be equally embraced, but life
being the fickle thing that it is, makes it possible to hold multiple emotions
simultaneously.
If the idea of embracing pain makes
you cringe, allow me to share with you the benefits that I have found from this
particular reframing:
VALIDATION
Validation holds a power
like none other. Knowing other people suffer in the same way we do is a huge
part of feeling emotionally supported. We want to know that our pain is real
and that it holds, at the very least, a measure of validity. This pain that we
don’t know what to do with gets trapped inside our hearts and minds. It tears us
apart even more if we think that we are the only ones struggling with it. We
feel isolated, crazy, or maybe like a freak. When we hear that someone else hurts
in the same way we do, it eases the tension and gives us that much needed
reassurance that we are not alone in this world.
If we
hear about someone’s success and that is all we hear, it is easy to think that
they achieved it out of some uncontrollable luck that was graced upon them. We
might think, “Why am I not so lucky? Am I not good enough?” It can lead to
feeling inferior, which can lead to giving up. However, if we hear the
struggles a person has to get to a success, and we realize that they had to
battle all of the same human struggles that we are going through ourselves,
then it may just inspire us to keep the hope and keep fighting.
CONVERT THE PAIN TO
OUR BENEFIT
If we can accept that pain
exists and do not shy away from it, then we can use it to our advantage. Instead
of avoiding pain, we can put our energy into a specific type of pain in order
to achieve an outcome.
“How can we do this?!” you ask excitedly
in your skepticism. Let me give you an example:
Should we never exercise or eat healthy, our
bodies will eventually have health problems and be in pain. However, if we exercise
and eat healthy, it may be a painful process now, but it’s pain that will
achieve something in the long run.
You see, pain is still part of the
equation, but in this scenario, we can choose which pain we are willing to
suffer with. When we embrace the pain, we can then ask the question: What type
of pain will lead us to a productive outcome?
PASSION IS PAIN
There will, of course, be
pain that we have no control over, which I won’t deny is a huge source of our
pain. When this happens, we still have options. We can use one of our proven
blocking of pain listed at the beginning, which is sure to feel safe and
produce no outcome, or we can channel it into something that we care about.
Channeling pain is part of what
makes art so beautiful and alive. For instance, how a sad song can be medicine
for our spirits, or how a stand-up comic can bring a laugh to an otherwise
horrifying situation. These things can fill our souls and make us feel like we
have purpose. This is more than just a hobby to keep us from being bored. It
brings vibrancy and color to an otherwise dull existence.
What
kind of passion should we choose? Get ready for the answer to this because it
is the most exciting part of it all: Anything.
Anything done with heart can change hearts and minds if we have the courage to
make ourselves vulnerable and authentic with it.
What
fills us with love? What fills us with fire? What are we willing to suffer for?
Life is
pain – and so is passion. If pain is always going to be part of the equation,
then let’s find our passion and unapologetically dive into that which makes
being alive worth it.
