Between My Ribs & Other Poetry by Karly Robinson

To What We LostKarly Robinson

A dear friend of mine, Karly Robinson, takes us through the steps of loss of a relationship. She shows just how much courage it takes to make each of these steps by displaying not only the battle with the person, but more than that, the internal battle with the self. Stepping away from a relationship for the sake of healing when the amount of love for the person remains the same is an insurmountable pain, but such a notable bravery that can be felt in each one of her incredible poems. Read her passionate work below.


Between My Ribs
I’m a lot further than I thought I’d be
Towards the end goal I cannot see
It makes no sense to me
Sometimes
What I want hurts terribly
Tightened knots of fear reside
Coiled sharply deep inside
Forgetting that I’m terrified
Sometimes
My want and hurt collide

I would love not to love you
It would be nice if I didn’t care
Then the weight would be lifted
I’d be walking on the lightest air
Maybe then I would remember
The sort of joy that comes in waves
Crashing gently on my shore
Salting my soul with all it craves

I’ll never know a life in color
The hues of a heart brushed in water and gold
A glimmer is all I will ever remember
Memory lingering quiet and cold

I said this was the last time
And my heart knew that it was
But there’s this space between my ribs
Catching hope and light and dust

Carry me away to other views
With a lilac breeze
Give me different news

Lay me down on the bluest sea
With turquoise foam
Let it cover me

Gently rocking side to side
The golden years
Have passed me by

Drowning slowly in the deep
Of silver tears
I fall to sleep


The Process Of Grief
There was a moment I felt it
And it threatened to overwhelm me
Making me sick from the stomach up
Making me feel like I wasn’t enough

There was a time I swam in it
And it threatened to engulf me
Keeping me under, away from sanity
Keeping my mouth shut with lock and key

There was a day I lived in it
And it threatened to live in me too
Holding me back on a puppet string
Holding me down with its poetry

Floods on either side
Threatening to collide over me
I don’t know how to sit with it
The fluidity hits me the hardest
Organic, unplanned
Unstructured, unmanned
Free falling, I can break

I can’t
I can’t
Into pieces
My breaking points
No
I can’t

My glass sits half empty
On the table before me
Filling my mouth with a bitter taste
Feeling my time has been put to waste

And I realize I can hate you
As I taste you in my throat
And I realize all the hurt I swallowed
I feel the bloat of silenced sorrow

Pushing out of me like a baby
A laboring without love
Heavy breathing binds me down
My sweat soaked tears a thorny crown

I never wanted this throne
I never want to be alone in this world
Chaos rules my inside and out
Labyrinths of fear as I spiral out
Of control, no plan
No structure, no man
Free to fall, I can break

I can’t
I can’t
Into pieces
My breaking points
No
I can’t

There was this moment I let it
And it finally let me go
Allowing me sweet relief
This is the process of grief


(Part 1)
I’m sorry.

I just don’t have anything left for you
I view you through a filter now
And I don’t know how to mend

Repair

Undo our patterns

I’m sorry.

I’m usually the one who is

(Part 2)
Forgive me.

I have nothing left to say anymore
The pain has become meaningless lately
And I just don’t know how to feel

Again

For you

Me

Forgive me.

I’m usually the one who does

(Part 3)
Forget me.

We have nowhere left to go now
I’m so tired of all the same dead ends
And I just don’t know how to say this

Except with this poem

So here goes

Please

Forget me.

I’m done being the one who does


Poet:

Karly Robinson has enjoyed being onstage since the age of 9 and began taking her training more seriously by the age of 12. She performed and attended workshops and training camps throughout her teenage years. In 2009, she was accepted into the Palmer High School Jazz Choir and traveled with them to various competitions, as well as performing in the schools production of The Wildest in 2010.  After graduating in 2010, she spent three years in Germany as an Au Pair. During that time, she went to language school and by 2012 was accepted into a selective foreigners bachelor program at the University of Cologne. Shortly before the program began, she took a trip to Denmark and remembers having a specific moment on the beach that prompted her to return to Alaska, despite the excitement of starting school in Cologne. Upon returning, she landed the role of Suzy in VPAs production of The Wonderettes and continued to perform within the community. She is currently settled in the Mat Su Valley and working as a Competitive Gymnastics Coach. She is also part of Sunlight Collaborations; A mixed media group based in Anchorage. 

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