Existential Ponders – Travis Atkinsonsessler

Are You Afraid?

What is your greatest fear?
I’ve been asked this question often throughout my life.
Mostly, I have answered, “I don’t know.”
I don’t really think about it.
I’ve been bruised, beaten, cut, stabbed,
I’ve been shot at and even had the pleasure of taking a round to my chest armor plate.
I had tackled adversity head on with no other path ahead.
But scars fade. Moments pass.
I am afraid of the same as anyone i suppose.
I fear being hungry. I fear pain. I greatly avoid discomfort.
But none of these are unusual.
None are a great fear that I devote any great measure of my mind to.
Im not plagued by the worries of my next meal.
I do not expect of corporeal harm as I go throughout my day.
I do not think of the heat or cold or wind as anything more than an number.
No I don’t live my life in fear.
I have however been in the worst places i could go.
I have spent a great deal of my life in darkness,
watching the worst of humanity.
I have seen and heard moments that are so unfathomable as to be beyond the scope of reality for my contemporaries.
What would be described as nightmares.
For some I have been the harbringer of death and held them in their final moments,
brought to their god by my hand.
I still treat these experiences as facts.
It is simply another part of the world as it exists.
No more, no less.
I do not fear it.
No. My greatest fear is no one thing.
I fear a moment.
That in which you can define your life as before and after, “that moment”.


Travis Atkinsonsessler

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