Danni Blackman is an artist from Orange County
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“Too Much Sunshine” by Danni Blackman
“..And how does that make you feel?” He asks as he clicks his pen.
My head in a daze, wondering why I’m still here.
My mind as quiet as the room I’m surrounded by.
He scribbles my life as I drift to the night that came before the pen and the clipboard.
As he scribbles, I think of the cuts that dripped like ink, and how now they seem so shallow.
As he scribbles I’m here feeling softer, feel myself turn into a puddle of ink.
I’ve been in this room too long to escape it.
He scribbles my life away while I wonder, “How will I make it in the real world?”
His pen oozes as I drown in the puddle.
I feel more at home in the casted shadows from the stained glass lamp than his words of validation.
“I can see why you’d feel that way” or “Let’s make a plan to get you there.”
Three ink-stained months and his pen is running out of liquid.
Like blisters that form from too much sunshine, I am overexposed to the bright lights of recovery.
“Will I make it in the real world?” I wonder as our session comes to an end.
My feet drag on the floor as I thank him for his time.
I close the white door behind me, exhale a deep sigh, his pen leaving my consciousness, but stained in my being – I think of the pieces I unraveled – My family’s past – As I reach for the keys to my car to drive to school.
“Until next week,” I mutter.